Stand up: 3 lighters in your lap. Sit down: they belong to the shadow realm now.

One hit of the homegrown and suddenly we’re explaining how birds are actually government drones |

Me pretending to understand the difference between "Permanent Marker" and "Cat Piss" | 5 people waiting

It’s 2 AM and suddenly shredded cheese straight from the bag is a 5-star meal |

MacGyver got quiet real quick once the pen cap and apple came out.

These edibles ain't shi—" | manual breathing mode activated

My lap has a 100% absorption rate for lighters the second I sit down.

One hit of the homegrown and suddenly we’re explaining how birds are actually government drones |

Budtender asks if I want "Purple Garlic Farts" or "Alien Runtz" and my brain just factory resets.

It’s 2 AM and suddenly shredded cheese straight from the bag is a 5-star meal |